What Do You Do When You’re Thrown In Deep Water?
They say that when you place an intention or a wish, you set in motion invisible forces that will aim to make your dream come true. A lot of times however, things will unfold in unexpected ways.
Sometimes things will go in entirely different – and undesired – directions. Like when you plan to start your own business while still working on your day job, – to keep it safe! – , but you’re being made redundant on very short notice. All of a sudden things turn from going with the flow to dive in – sink or swim!
How Valuable Is Your Goal?
I heard somewhere that you could evaluate how valuable a goal is by the difference between who you need to become to achieve that goal and who you are now.
If you are trying to reach a higher position, then you need to change quality parameters – open up to new ideas, get a different understanding, learn new skills, create different habits, get out of your comfort zone.
When you’re moving horizontally, you don’t need to make significant alterations – same meat, different gravy.
Sometimes the idea of how deep these changes need to be is off-putting to people. Faced with the choice between leaving behind the (comfortable) familiar, and maintaining the status quo, sometimes people shy away and back up. Even at the price of having their wish remain just a dream.
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger – Or Does It?
Yesterday I watched the new “King Arthur – Legend of The Sword” movie. On his last battle with the evil king Vortigern, Arthur tells him that it was actually the king who created Arthur by putting him through hardship that forced him to grow and become the man he became.
While I can understand the choice of message in the moment of poetic justice (what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger), I don’t entirely agree with it.
You could say that yes, the king was the originating force that set things in motion. That he sent Arthur’s life on a specific trajectory, different from the one where Arthur’s parents had been alive and he would have reached adulthood under their loving guidance.
However, his life could have just as well been impacted by thousands of other outside factors, and he could have chosen to live the simple, humble life of a poor man grown in a brothel, with no aspirations. Instead of learning to fight, he could have chosen to run away and always be meek.
Almost a third of the movie he is “fighting his destiny” and tries to reject the role that has been handed to him by others. He was clinging to his old identity for dear life, because the new one required massive change.
And it was scary.
When Do We Decide To Change?
However, there is a point of decision when he assumes his position because he cannot accept the consequences of not doing so.
That is the turning point that will make the difference between being told that he is the rightful king and him becoming it. As the mage said: “You will face it when it’s worth it to you. Don’t get me wrong, I look away. We all look away. But that is the difference between a man and a king.”
So, do outside events and people influence us? Surely. We learn from the others and it’s through sharing feelings and ideas that our inner world is enriched (if we open ourselves to it).
Do outside events and people change us? No. Because change can only come from within ourselves. While it’s a reality that things and circumstances are continually changing, what we’re presenting to the outside world is entirely our choice. Who we want to be is entirely our choice.
Of course, every choice has its consequences, but this is another story. One that we can choose to write consciously for ourselves.
That is, if we got tired of throwing the blame (- and merit) onto others for it. If we decide it’s worth getting out of the comfort zone and claiming back our power. If we want something different, something authentic for ourselves.
So the question is: who do you want to be?
Is Fear Of Being Judged Running Your Life?
Would you like to start doing what YOU want instead of what others choose for you?
Perfectionists R US
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Share, learn, have fun and just be yourself, un-apologetically.