“I can’t ask for help, what if people will say no? They probably think it’s not worth the trouble. It’s so humiliating; better not to ask!”
Did you ever feel like this?
It’s hard not to take it personally, especially if you had some bad experiences. You might end up believing people refuse to help you because you don’t deserve it.
But what if the thing you ask for help with isn’t a good /healthy idea for you or those involved? They may choose to reject you because they honestly believe it’s in your best interest to do it. Or maybe it’s in their best interest. Maybe they are trying to protect their family.
Maybe you asked the wrong people?
👉 What if they don’t have the means or the skills to help you? What if, much as they’d like to, they are pretty useless for the job? Admitting it though isn’t always easy, so you may never know this is the real reason.
👉 What if they honestly don’t have the time to help you, because they’re swamped in chores themselves?
👉 What if they refuse you because they don’t like your face, age, gender, skin colour, weight, accent or shoes. Yes, these reasons are ridiculous and petty, but people are like this sometimes. However, you can’t feel ashamed unless you believe they are right and you SHOULD feel shame.
In this case, are you willing to let their labels define who you are and what you can do?
If you think you have no say, then you’ll have to comply with the role you were cast in. You will have to play by the book.
Or you can toss the book away, decide to write your own.
And find the right people to help you turn your vision into reality.