The Life Changing Lesson Of A Humble Bug

I hate bugs. I’m not afraid of them, I don’t jump on the table screaming when I see a spider.  

When I was seven, our house suffered an ants infestation. It was mid-November and they were probably looking for a warm place for the winter. At first I did not mind them, they were almost invisible  and we could peacefully coexist.

As weeks went by, they started occupying more and more of the territory. By the time I complained to my parents, the carpet was looking like a moving mirage, and it was not unusual to wake up in the middle of the night because of the ant bites.  

 

So I don’t like bugs, I don’t like them touching me or my food.  

 

Last week I talked to my friend Liz. She was tired and frustrated because, after two days of research for a paper, she still felt like her work was not useful enough and just tossed it all away with a click of the ominous Delete button. Six hours of selecting and typing content  – boom! Gone in a second!  

 

The next day, my neighbour Brie invited me over to have a chat and served me a yummy lemon, cherries & cream cake. I complimented her on the masterfully looking and deliciously tasting cake, but she waved away my compliments. She told me  the first one ended up in the bin because  it wasn’t really “fluffy” and “the yellow was not yellow enough”.  

 

And then I heard about my god-son failing his exam because he didn’t sleep at all two nights prior to the big day. Instead of resting, he revised all the stuff again and solved very sophisticated extracurricular exercises, to make sure he was really well prepared.

 

All these people were working hard as hell, way beyond the required amount needed to accomplish their goals.

Why?  

 

Because deep down they felt that nothing was good enough. That they could not afford to make mistakes: once their flaws exposed, nobody would accept, respect or like them anymore.  

 

Because they were the first not to accept, respect and like themselves.   I was thinking about these three people this morning when I found a bug in my sink, because, see, the creature landed there was the only type of bug I actually liked and found funny. It was a brownish forest shield bug, carried through the window by the last nights’ strong wind.

 

Why did I like the forest shield bug?

Well, as the name says it, their body is the shape of the shield, they are flat and they do not bite. 

When he jumped on my finger, he was neither slimy, nor crawling or  ticklishly jumpy, and that’s why  the sensation was bearable. I observed him for a few minutes, then I shook him off in the grass outside.

 

 And I wondered: if I, with my history of bugs hating, was able to find one to not only tolerate but even accept and like, then surely there must be something that a perfectionist can discover acceptable about themselves. You know, just one quality or skill.  

 

We all have days when we doubt ourselves. In those days, we seem to forget everything we’ve ever accomplished, and we count only the failures. When we look in the mirror, we see a bundle of flaws with not one good quality in sight.  

Still, there are.  

 

All you need to do to start coming back from the dark zone is to find one single thing about yourself that is acceptable. Tolerable. Even OK, maybe.  

 

This will disprove the theory that you are a TOTAL loser. And if you can find another thing or two, you might see that you’re actually not completely bad. Someone you might even agree to befriend.  

One single thing.  

So what’s your shield bug?

 

Is Fear Of Being Judged Running Your Life?

Would you like to start doing what YOU want instead of what others choose for you?

Perfectionists R US

If you’re a perfectionist and would like to join a community of  like minded people, you can join my Facebook group.

 Share, learn, have fun and just be yourself, un-apologetically.

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