So You Think You Deserve To Be Successful?
We were talking for 15 minutes now about how she should have been fine. She had a solid strategy crafted, she knew what she had to do and she knew how to do it. And yet, she didn’t have the success she was “supposed” to get.
She felt like the little match girl, watching from outside the walls how others feasted inside.
As I poked around with questions, I asked her:
“Do you think you deserve to be successful?”
“Yes,” she said.
Nothing had changed in her voice or demeanour, but I sensed a very elusive flutter of hesitation.
“OK… When it comes to success, do you believe there is room for you?”
“I’m not really sure. You know, actually, I could never fight for ‘my place’. If it’s not there set aside for me or if there is competition, I back off.”
I could relate to this completely. I never wanted to strife, push or elbow my way into anything. I wanted to be chosen for who and what I was, as well.
But what if nobody is choosing you, because people are too busy with their own lives? What if they don’t want – nor have the time- to dig in the crowd and discover your amazing skills and qualities?
And besides, who says you need to fight for your place, to begin with?
There are many ways in which the unworthiness mindset prevents us from having money and success, and I’m not talking Law of Attraction here. (Not because it’s woo-woo, but because I’d rather focus on the things that YOU DO, and therefore can adjust and can CHANGE.)
For example, you sabotage yourself.
You’re reluctant and won’t pitch your knowledge, skills or offers to potential clients because you don’t want to be ‘sleazy’.
Or you watch your colleagues shamelessly asking for (and getting) promotions, – even though they are less qualified and performing poorer than you -, but never dare ask yourself.
Or if a large unexpected amount of money pops up, you’ll spend it in a frenzy and end up in the same place as before, with nothing much to show where the money went.
The trouble is sometimes, just like my client, you’re not even aware of this feeling of not being worthy. You say all the right things, you say that you want money and success, but your actions don’t match your words.
Let’s try this brief exercise for a minute.
Imagine there’s a big banquet room where successful people are gathering. (Whatever successful is to you, in your industry.) You’re outside for the moment. What do you see when you look inside?
Outside the room, people are rushing from all directions to get in.
How does this make you feel?
Do you feel you can join them?
Do you feel you’re one of them?
If not, what do you think you need to do, be or have in order to belong?
What if you knew for sure that right now, without changing anything about you, there was a place in there with your name on it?
A chair that is waiting for you to claim it.
It’s your rightful place.
What is the first thought that comes into your mind?
How does this make you feel?
The things we say out loud can be different from those we say on a subconscious level.
(Just like what politicians say on an election campaign and what they actually do (or not) after they get the votes.)
That’s why exercises like these can sometimes reveal what lays beneath the surface.
Why is that important to know?
Because it’s the subconscious that runs the game. And if we want to achieve what we desire, we’d better make sure that our minds (conscious and subconscious) have the same agenda
Please let me know if this resonated with you.
And of course, if you’d like to discover what hidden beliefs hinder your success and banish them into the Great Nothingness… well, drop me a message.
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