Can An Assumption Get You a Free Face Massage?

Can An Assumption Get You a Free Face Massage?

Can An Assumption Get You a Free Face Massage?

 

“Hey, long time no see! What are you doing?”

“I’m OK, just going to work” I answered
“Eurgh! I know, I hate Mondays, too!”

 

I wanted to tell him that the reason why I looked grey and felt sluggish was that I was a bit tired and trying (unsuccessfully) to fend off a cold. That I didn’t hate Mondays, but I was just out of sorts.

 

But I wasn’t quick enough, so he patted my shoulder encouragingly:
“What can we do? Work is a necessary evil!”

 

Judgements we make on others based on our assumptions are so funny sometimes.
And so far from the truth.

 

It’s so interesting to see how we presume our labels to be true for everybody else. Sometimes we’re spot on and we’re satisfied to share a mutual like or dislike.

 

Other times the answers we get vary from stone silence to a slap in the face (aka. free face massage).

 

When was the last time you got some funny looks for assuming something without checking?

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When It’s A Good Time For A Fresh Start?

When It’s A Good Time For A Fresh Start?

When It’s A Good Time For A Fresh Start?

 

Life happens to us with ups and downs. Whether we choose to change or are forced to change, change we must.

 

How many times have you seen yourself or other people wanting to make a fresh start?

 

A fresh start is just another name for change – but somehow it sounds better, more empowering. It’s like we could wipe out our past mistakes, wrong decisions or painful experiences, and we can start again as if nothing happened.

 

We also assume that now that we know better, we’ll do better.
(As any New Year resolution can tell you, that’s not always the case.)

 

It’s interesting to notice what we usually associate a fresh start with:

  •  new resources – a new car, house, or more money
  •  a particular time – like New Year
  •  a new location – moving somewhere nobody knows you
  •  a new position – a new job or a change in social status
  •  an addition to your family
  •  other factors

 

If you look closely, tying a fresh start to any of these things seems very familiar.

It’s the cousin of the “I’ll be happy when…” type of conditioning.

 

Although we’re used to think this way, a fresh start isn’t by default linked to anything. Any moment and any place are good enough to be your starting point for a new beginning.

 

So really, why can’t you start NOW?

 

10 Minutes Quiz

Is stress a normal part of your life? Do you work insanely long hours?

This 10 minutes quiz can tell you if you’re heading towards burnout or not.

Perfectionists R US

If you’re a perfectionist and would like to join a community of  like minded people, you can join my Facebook group.

Share, learn, have fun and just be yourself, un-apologetically.

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The Threat Of A Million WHY’s

The Threat Of A Million WHY’s

The Threat Of A Million WHY’s

 

 

”Stop throwing food.” – “Why?”
“You can’t go across the street.” – “Why?”
”No, you can’t have knives.” – “Why?”
“Don’t hit your sister.” – “Why?”
 
 
If you had to look after children (yours or others’), you recognise the scenario that has millions of parents pull their hair, sigh to the point of crying and desperately pray for the avalanche of questions to stop.
 
 
Spend one week questioned like a suspect in interrogation, having every move you make and everything you say met with the same ominous WHY, and you’ll get there.
 
 
Fortunately, with time, children discover there are other questions worth asking as well: WHAT, HOW, and WHAT IF.
 
 
Although these four questions help us learn and make sense of the world, gradually, we tend to prioritise one or two of them, and this will determine our preferred style of learning.
 
 
Style 1 – the WHY learners
They want to know why they should care –  why do this now, why it is important, what’s in it for them. They are focused on values and making connections and might not move to take action if they don’t get satisfactory answers.
 
 
Style 2 – the WHAT learners
They are analytic, like information, seeking facts and details, evaluating and formulating ideas. They need step-by-step processes and prefer working with people who come prepared.
 
 
Style 3 – the HOW learners
They want to see the relationships and connections between the new information and the bigger picture. They like learning by doing and tinkering. They are happiest experimenting, building and creating something useful.
 
 
 
Style 4 – the WHAT IF learners
They are continually exploring possibilities, learning by trial and error and self-discovery. They want to know why something it’s done a certain way and want to find better alternatives. They seem to have a hard time staying on topic, but they need to roll the possibilities in their heads to come up with creative solutions.
 
 
Irrespective of how we learn and how much it drives parents mad, curiosity is an incredible asset to preserve from childhood.
 
– it makes learning effortless and more fun because we remember easier what interests us
 
– it creates new options when, instead of blindly accepting what others say it’s possible, we decide to explore other venues
 
– it can get us moving when we feel stuck in frustration and despair.
 
 
So cherish it and encourage it, – in yourself and your children -, because it keeps us growing, creating and pushing beyond boundaries and limitations.
 
 
 
PS: Apparently, the magic lifesaver if you’re tired of answering the million why’s (and don’t want to resort to “Because I said so”), is asking back calmly and playfully:
 
 “You tell me why.”
 
And wait for them to come up with an explanation.

 

10 Minutes Quiz

Is stress a normal part of your life? Do you work insanely long hours?

This 10 minutes quiz can tell you if you’re heading towards burnout or not.

Perfectionists R US

If you’re a perfectionist and would like to join a community of  like minded people, you can join my Facebook group.

Share, learn, have fun and just be yourself, un-apologetically.

Are You Exhausted And Frustrated With All The Hustling?

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The Myth of “I’ll Be Happy When…”

The Myth of “I’ll Be Happy When…”

The Myth of “I’ll Be Happy When…”

 

 

The myth of “I’ll be happy when…” has been exposed over and over again. We pretty much agree that conditioning our feeling of happiness on acquiring a better car, job or partner is a sure recipe for wasting precious time in a wishful state. It’s like dangling a carrot in front of the horse to keep him running, but never actually allowing the horse to have it.
 
 
And yet, with a different look, it still creeps on us occasionally, and we believe its lies.
 
 
We make up labels and rules about things. This is how our brains work.
 

But this becomes a problem when we let ourselves confined by these labels and rules. That’s when we start to suffer.
 
 
For example, stop for a moment and think: how does a wealthy or successful person look like to you?
 
  • What are their defining characteristics?
  • How old is she/he?
  • What are they wearing?
  • How do they speak?
  • Do you personally know anyone like this or is it a cliche you borrowed?
  • Can you remember when and how you reached this perception?
 
Now ask yourself: if you’re not already there, what’s stopping you?
 
What do you think needs to be different about yourself to be rich or successful? Your hair / clothes / weight / accent / car / house / age?
 
What would make you worthy?
 
 
See how we’re back to the same myth?
We’re operating with illusions.
 
 
Even when there is a real person behind those representations, that’s still, just ONE PERSON. And one swallow does not a summer make.
 
 
The good news is, we make our own reality.
The bad news is, we’re rarely aware of HOW we’re doing it.
 
 
So take a good look again at what you want to have or be. Now, what’s really stopping you?

 

 

10 Minutes Quiz

Is stress a normal part of your life? Do you work insanely long hours?

This 10 minutes quiz can tell you if you’re heading towards burnout or not.

Perfectionists R US

If you’re a perfectionist and would like to join a community of  like minded people, you can join my Facebook group.

Share, learn, have fun and just be yourself, un-apologetically.

Are You Exhausted And Frustrated With All The Hustling?

Would you like to have the joy and fun back into your life and business?

Is your self-esteem strong, or does it need a boost?

→  Do you constantly compare yourself with others and focus mainly on your shortcomings?

→  Can you handle criticism and rejection objectively, or does any negative comment shatter your self-view? 

→  Do you believe in yourself and in your abilities?

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