How To Make Good Decisions Without Agonizing

How To Make Good Decisions Without Agonizing

How To Make Good Decisions Without Agonizing

 

 

Do you know the economic theory saying that more choice is always better?

 

In reality, from choosing the right energy plan to choosing the next tools to grow your business, from buying presents to buying a new house, having too many options can be agonizing.

 

Why?

Because it gets too complicated. You might even end up picking something, anything, just to be done with it.

 

We do better when we have a smaller choice set.

So here’s how you can make decisions without agonising:

1.- First, you need to be clear on what matters most to you.

What things or features do you want most? Order them from the most important to the least important one.

Put them down in writing because when you stay in your head, you keep going in circles.

 

2.- Then, to narrow down the options you can see it as a sports tournament: divide the options into 3-4 groups, pick the winner from each group, then pick a new winner from the finalists.

 

Are you stuck on potential worst-case scenarios?

Write the things you’d like to avoid, from the worst one to the least bad. Honestly, how likely is each one to happen? If the chances are high, come up with solutions and move on!

 

One last thought: when we attribute too much finality to a choice it’s harder to decide.

Remember: there are always other chances to make new decisions.

 

10 Minutes Quiz

Is stress a normal part of your life? Do you work insanely long hours?

This 10 minutes quiz can tell you if you’re heading towards burnout or not.

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How Do You Shoot Yourself In The Foot?

How Do You Shoot Yourself In The Foot?

How Do You Shoot Yourself In The Foot?

 

When your deepest belief is that you’re not good enough, feeling that you’re not worthy (of love, success or prosperity) comes naturally.

 

So what do you do?

You sabotage yourself – in one or more of those areas:

 

Relationships

– you can’t say NO or set boundaries

– you are suspicious and don’t let people get to know you

– you don’t communicate much, but expect the others to know how you feel and think

– you can’t accept compliments

– you think people are liars or deluded if they see something nice in you

– you’re constantly afraid that you’ll be dumped

– you stay in toxic relationships

– if you’re in a nicer relationship with someone who sees your qualities you will do your best to break it, to confirm your belief about your unworthiness

 

Work

– you diminish your skills and knowledge in front of others

– you hide your work, even if it’s good

– you don’t take credit for your success

– you procrastinate putting yourself out there by keeping busy with something that’s not really useful or endlessly tinkering on insignificant details

 

Health

– you put everything and everyone else ahead of your needs

– you don’t take enough time for rest or self-care until you crash

 

What is / was your favourite way to sabotage yourself?

 

If you want to  practice vanquishing those perfectionist little monsters in your back yard, while being part of a lovely community of like-minded warriors, join my Facebook group.

Also, if  you’d like to end your self-sabotaging behaviour, let’s have a chat. 

10 Minutes Quiz

Is stress a normal part of your life? Do you work insanely long hours?

This 10 minutes quiz can tell you if you’re heading towards burnout or not.

Perfectionists R US

If you’re a perfectionist and would like to join a community of  like minded people, you can join my Facebook group.

Share, learn, have fun and just be yourself, un-apologetically.

Are You Exhausted And Frustrated With All The Hustling?

Would you like to have the joy and fun back into your life and business?

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The Unfairness Of “All Or Nothing”

The Unfairness Of “All Or Nothing”

The Unfairness Of “All Or Nothing”

 

 

Do you know somebody who constantly reminds you of that one mistake you happened to make?

It doesn’t matter if your record was impeccable until then, nor that maybe it wasn’t your fault. No, they label you and in their eyes, you’re stuck in that category for ever.

 

What you did doesn’t even need to be dramatic or scandalous.

 

Say, you have a friend over and when you cook dinner, the lid on the salt shaker falls into the food together with a significant amount of salt. You remove most of it, but the food is saltier than usual.

 

You apologise and prepare a side dish that has no salt, for balance, also offering to order something else. But your friend doesn’t want something else, eats it but complains every three mouthfuls. Luckily, he has no health condition that might be affected.

 

Afterwards he never misses a chance to tell you to go easy on the salt. It doesn’t matter you didn’t cook anything that salty before or after. For him, you are the person who ALWAYS overuses salt.

 

This type of thinking is unfair, untrue and hurtful.

And it never generalizes the good things either, only the bad ones. It’s like they have selective amnesia!

 

Have you met such a person?

 

What would you tell them?

If you’d like to tackle this issue, contact me for a discovery session. 

Also, you can join my Facebook group and practice keeping those perfectionist bits in line while being part of a lovely community of like-minded warriors 🙂 

Perfectionists R Us

10 Minutes Quiz

Is stress a normal part of your life? Do you work insanely long hours?

This 10 minutes quiz can tell you if you’re heading towards burnout or not.

Perfectionists R US

If you’re a perfectionist and would like to join a community of  like minded people, you can join my Facebook group.

Share, learn, have fun and just be yourself, un-apologetically.

Are You Exhausted And Frustrated With All The Hustling?

Would you like to have the joy and fun back into your life and business?

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It’s Not You!

It’s Not You!

It’s Not You!

 

 

 

When you work as hard as a mule and yet bitterly fail, is your first thought “I’m not good enough”?

If you’re in full-blown perfectionist mode, this might be quite often your go-to explanation.

 

I know how it’s like when after painstaking efforts you’re at your wits’ end and pull your hair, feeling like banging your head against the wall in front of you. You did all that you knew, yet results are far from expected.

So it must be something wrong with you, “obviously”!

 

Herein lies the problem.

It’s not you. It’s your thinking.

 

Einstein said that we can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

So how about considering other explanations for your less than successful efforts?

 

As a perfectionist you probably love lists, so here’s one more for you to ponder on:

 

– did you use the right tools?

– was it the right time and place?

– was it the right audience/target market?

– was the time frame realistic enough?

– did you have enough data to act on?

– are there new things that you might need to learn? new skills?

– how much experience do you have with it?

– is your expectation matching your experience on the subject?

– how about changing the strategy?

 

What other things might be useful to ask yourself?

 

If you feel you need to explore this a bit further, contact me for a discovery session. 

Also, you can join my Facebook group and practice keeping those perfectionist bits in line while being part of a lovely community of like-minded warriors 🙂 

Perfectionists R Us

10 Minutes Quiz

Is stress a normal part of your life? Do you work insanely long hours?

This 10 minutes quiz can tell you if you’re heading towards burnout or not.

Perfectionists R US

If you’re a perfectionist and would like to join a community of  like minded people, you can join my Facebook group.

Share, learn, have fun and just be yourself, un-apologetically.

Are You Exhausted And Frustrated With All The Hustling?

Would you like to have the joy and fun back into your life and business?

Categories

Are Control Freaks The Big Bad Wolf?

Are Control Freaks The Big Bad Wolf?

Are Control Freaks The Big Bad Wolf?

 

 

They say perfectionists are control freaks. They always need to have the last word, they think they know better and everything must go according to their plans, or else.

 

In a world confused by so many options, knowing what you want does attract attention.

Knowing what you want AND not being afraid to ask for it – that is even more outstanding.

 

It’s easy to get annoyed by their obsession for details and their occasional lack of flexibility. It’s not easy to live up to their standards. Plus, they are so bossy!

 

Behind their rules and schedules however, there is a desert of loneliness and anxiety. A human being cracking in pieces when changes whirlwind into their lives.

 

When they try to correct everything and everybody it’s not because they are self-suficient jerks. They don’t necessarily want to show they are smarter, they just want things to be right again, because then they can feel secure.

Having all the answers gives them safety and worthiness.

 

If you ever had low self-esteem you know what it’s like to crave every piece of feedback that can validate you.

Because deep inside you have that never sated hunger for recognition and self-worth.

 

Can you find the compassion to see the scared human being beyond the controlling facade?

 

10 Minutes Quiz

Is stress a normal part of your life? Do you work insanely long hours?

This 10 minutes quiz can tell you if you’re heading towards burnout or not.

Are You Exhausted And Frustrated With All The Hustling?

Would you like to have the joy and fun back into your life and business?

Categories

Perfectionists R US

If you’re a perfectionist and would like to join a community of  like minded people, you can join my Facebook group.

 Share, learn, have fun and just be your wonderful self, un-apologetically.

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